Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: How do I challenge negative thinking?

Have you been trying to “think positive”. Has someone told you to “look on the bright side”, or “be grateful for what you have”. Certainly, there is some merit to these messages in some specific situations. But, more often than not, when you are in the midst of a crisis or challenge, hearing one of those sentences can be extremely invalidating and infuriating.

People often know logically that negative thoughts are unhelpful and exacerbate uncomfortable mood states.

When you’ve dealt with negative automatic thoughts for as long as you can remember, it can be a hard habit to break. Usually, when things are going poorly people have tried to think more positively or to remind themselves of the good things they do have. However, this strategy often falls flat because we haven’t acknowledged the emotional impact of the challenge first and have jumped straight to intellectualising the issue (“it’ll work out in the end”).

So how can I change my negative thoughts?

When I bring up Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to clients for the first time, I always emphasise that it is not about positive thinking. This is because turning negative thoughts into their polar opposite positive thoughts can be unhelpful.

Why? Because we firstly don’t believe it (“I am great”) since it is too much of a stretch from our current view of reality; it is invalidating of how we currently feel about ourselves and can feel dismissive; and it may appear deluded (“I can do no wrong”). Instead of putting on these rose coloured “positive thinking” glasses, CBT aims to help us challenge the negative automatic thoughts and turn them into more helpful and realistic ones.

This process of cognitive restructuring initially requires conscious effort and practice over time which at first is difficult, but like any skill, will get easier over time.

For CBT specifically for low self-esteem, check out this page here: CBT for Low Self-Esteem.

Step 1: Recognise the negative thought and ask yourself if it's helping you or not.

We need to firstly become aware of what our negative thoughts are and recognise when they are not helpful and/or realistic. But what about things that are realistically likely to happen? For example, it's common for all of us to think:

“If I fail this assignment, I will fail the course and have to repeat this subject.”

Focusing on this thought might give us the anxiety to push through, but focusing on it may also lead us down a path of rumination, negative attentional bias, and catastrophising. The more time we spend down this path, the less effective we are at actually studying!

For situations where we are thinking in an all-or-nothing fashion, this is usually unrealistic as there are often a lot of nuances in between. For example, let’s say you’ve had a conflict with a friend. Maybe the negative automatic thought is:

“Because of the argument, they must hate me now”.

While there is a small possibility that this could be the reality, it is not helpful to engage this thought as it will likely end in avoidance, defensiveness or even aggressiveness in future interactions. These reactions could further exacerbate the conflict and negatively impact the relationship.

Step 2: Check the facts for another possible interpretation of the situation.

Once we've picked up on the unhelpful thought, it's always helpful to check the facts and look for another possible interpretation of the situation. For example, another possible interpretation of the thoughts above could be:

Negative Thinking:	Another possible interpretation:
"If I fail this assignment, I will fail the course and have to repeat this subject."	“The assignment is important. I still have some time to work on it before it's due."
"Because of the argument, my friend must hate me now"	My friend is upset, just like I am. The relationship is important to both of us. I want to try to make it work. Maybe they will as well, since we share similar values”

A more realistic thought like the ones above can be more helpful as it motivates you to take action in a way that is in your control. It helps us to acknowledge how we feel and can help us take more effective action towards our goals.

Don't get me wrong, it will still be really stressful finishing the assignment or talking to your friend after an argument. However, the key difference here is that, rather than our brain spending extra energy being stuck in a cycle and feeling more and more stressed, we can be more effective at solving problems.

Again, it's not about forcing ourselves to think positively, but instead it's about opening our minds to other (less dire) possibilities.

There are many ways to think in between that can be more helpful and/or realistic (even if only slightly). For more information on being less mean to yourself, check out this article here: A Case for Self-Compassion: Why Beating Yourself Up is a Waste of Energy.

How a Psychologist Can Help Challenge Negative Thinking

A psychologist can help catch your negative automatic thoughts in real time and help you to check the facts and look for an alternative option. If you’re already aware of your negative thoughts, a psychologist can also provide an emotionally safe space for you to voice these automatic thoughts. After validating that you are in fact a normal human, with a range of normal thoughts, your psychologist can assist you in figuring out what would be the most helpful and realistic way to approach things. Sometimes, with a sounding board, you may even be able to figure it out yourself.

Conclusion

So, if you’re tired of trying to “think positive”, breathe a sigh of relief that you no longer have to. We just want to aim at being less negative (aka more helpful), more realistic and ideally, a little nicer to ourselves. Practicing awareness, and gently challenging our negative automatic thoughts will lead to a stronger sense of wellbeing through a more balanced thought process.

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About the Author

Jess Suetsugu is the Principal Clinical Psychologist here at Reimagine Psychology. Jess has over 10 years of experience in CBT and other therapeutic approaches. She uses techniques from CBT to help people identify and challenge the automatic thoughts that can keep us stuck. For further info about Jess, check out her profile here.